“Come back to the bedroom, I want to show you something” my husband says. I’m in the middle of cleaning the kitchen. I’m annoyed to be interrupted but he insists. I follow him to the bedroom, I’m thinking he’s going to ask how to treat a stain on his shirt or something. I was wrong.
He starts to close the door and close the curtains, a dead giveaway. I remind him that I’d previously said I didn’t feel like messing around, not that it would change his mind or anything.
“No, no, it’s not that,” he assures me. “I just want to show you something………… just go bend over the bed or a second”. Right….To me this does not sound like showing me something, more like feeling me something. I protest again and he assures me it’s just for a second.
I did what he asked, my body wasn’t sure if it should relax or brace for something. Five seconds later I hear a loud smacking sound followed by a definite stinging on my behind. It made me jump because I wasn’t quite expecting such a sting. I turn around and see Brad holding a thick and sturdy yardstick and looking very proud of himself.
“I bought this today, only 69¢!”
I probably should have congratulated him.