Happy New Year!

I have always loved the entrance into the new year…  Here’s to a fresh new start and the beginning of a great year  (clink clink) 

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A peek into our bedroom

 Last night I tried to give Brad a hint when I asked him to put lotion on my legs after I got out of the shower.  I’m perfectly capable of doing this myself, but if I want to be enticing this is a good way to go about it…  I’ll skip the reasons why.  It would be a little too much for my innocent little blog 😉 

It didn’t really work because the kids were still awake, and then we watched a movie.

So later when we went back to bed…….

Ally:  Are you up for anything?

Brad:  Like what?  Did you have something in mind?

Ally:  Mmmmm… I don’t know… maybe…   (you know, ’cause I’m a staight forward kind of girl)

Brad:  Are you talking about a quickie, or do you want the whole nine yards?

Ally:  (Thinking………)   I’d settle for a quickie….BUT  I am really starting to miss the whole nine yards, I’m starting to get a little cranky  (I did get approximately “5 yards” on Christmas Eve, which is which is why I was happy with a quickie and he has to work in the morning)

Brad:  You’re getting cranky? (laughing)

(Ok, maybe I’ve kept that on the inside.  I had a wonderful two days, Christmas and Christmas Eve, and we had a blast with all of our family, but now that it’s past I feel about 10 lbs lighter.)

Ally:  Yep, cranky. 

(fast forward to after quickie)

Ally:  You know, they say that men who have 5 orgasms a week live longer… (I heard this on a talk show back in the college days and I have never forgotten it, I have no idea if it’s true or not)   I don’t think that’s very hard to achieve.

Brad:  No, not for us, but for average people (haha, avg people?)….  it seems like the avg for most couples if they’re lucky is once a week.

Ally:  (LOL, that used to be us)  I guess being kinky is the trick,  all the kinky bloggers I know seem to be having plenty of sex, aren’t you glad we’re kinky?

Brad: Yes

_______________________________________________

Adding spanking and D/s to our relationship made a big difference in our relationship and completely transformded our sex life for the better.  It’s a lot of work, and we are still working on it, but I can’t imagine it not being there.

How has being kinky or whatever you have changed affected your sex life?

Online Cookie Exchange

 Would you like a bunch of yummy cookie recipes?  It’s your lucky day!  Jz has organized an online cookie recipe exchange.  Here is mine and you can follow the links below to all the other blogger’s recipes.  

Oatmeal Chocolate Chunk Cookies
3 sticks unsalted butter (room temp)                                          
1 c sugar
1 1/2 c light brown sugar
3 lg eggs
1 TB vanilla
3 c flour
1 TB baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
3 c quick oats
2 c chopped walnuts
3 c chocolate chunks
2 c coarsely chopped dried cherries
 
Preheat oven to 350F. 
Cream butter and both sugars.  Beat in eggs one at a time, then beat in vanilla.
In another bowl stir together flour, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, and oats.  Add to mixture and slowly beat until blended.  Stir in nuts, chocolate, and cherries. 
Drop by tablespoonfuls one inch apart on sprayed or greased cookie sheets.  Bake 12-15 minutes.  Makes 8 dozen.

Be sure to check out all the other participating blogger’s recipes.  Just click on their name to get there.

journaling me…

So I have bought a new journal to journal in…it’s pretty and it’s colors and design represent me well.  I picked it on purpose.  It’s also attracted the attention of my five year old.  Since I also have an 8 yr old  who can read I’m going to have to find a better spot for it than my bedside table.  The five year old can’t read or write yet but she wants one, so I will be giving her one of her for Christmas.  She can color journal I guess. 

I’ve been writing pages and pages every day and it’s been interesting.  I’ve realized that I’ve had my defences up since sometime before Thanksgiving.  While I’ve been sort of aware of it, I’ve refused to acknowledge it to myself because it’s just too damn hard.  This has become a tough time of year when it never has been before (due to a death in the family last year at this time) and I’ve felt myself harden up a bit, bracing myself for the challenge.  It’s just weird and I have no particular feeling to attach to it.  There are a whole bunch of them, I’m sure that’s normal.  Brad and I argued late last month.  That sucked.  Someone in my family took their dog to the pound without telling anyone because she was inconvenient to them.  While that really has nothing to do with me, it felt like a loss.  My parents are moving, 30 minutes farther away than they are now.  I’m really trying to be positive about that, but it also brings tension.  This is where I am going to take a deep breath, accept that this is the way things are, and let it go.  There is nothing that I can do about any of those things.  And I’ll just have to look at the positive things about the move.   Now if I could just soften up a little bit and try to relax and enjoy the season. 

Jouraling had also helped me sort out what is important for me/to me.  For a long time I’ve been trying to come up with this mission statement for life, except more in bulletted simple statement form rather than paragraphs.  I read another blog called “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin, she also wrote a book of the same title.  Anyway she has a list of 12  personal commandments, and I really like that idea so I’m adopting that format.  I have borrowed her first, which is Be Gretchen, only mine is Be Ally, obviously.  It seems so fundamental to even be able to complete the list.  So basically, I am journaling about whatever, it’s more like free writing, I’ve not used much structure because I don’t want to subconsciously hold anything back if I can help it.  At the end of every entry I’m listing whatever personal points I have so far.  I have some others, but I am still working them out.  You’ll hear about them when I’m ready.

Despite what I mentioned earlier, I am actually feeling pretty positive right now.  I’m looking forward to Christmas and spending time with the whole family.

Thanks for reading and

I LOVE you all!

it’s progress

 Hey everybody, I started this post last week, it’s just taken me this long to get it done.  

Something happened last night, it reminded me of the incident from a few weeks ago that I overreacted to.  It’s the first time that we’ve had sex since then.  I was feeling a tiny bit nervous to start but I was really ready to get back in the swing of things again.  Not even 3 minutes into it Brad starts doing something that I don’t really enjoy but he does.  He inadvertently did something that really hurt, and not in a good way, it surprised me.  “omg, that really hurt!” and he says “what? I was just _________”  (sorry, leaving that detail out).  We both paused, I saw it in his eyes, he was about to do it again.  I made a move to block him when he started, but he had a death grip on my wrists.  I couldn’t move anything but I turned my head.  I don’t even remember what I was thinking, a flood of emotion passed through me, probably that panic I was talking about.  In an instant I started to cry, hard.  Brad immediately let go and pulled me into his chest.  In the middle of my broken sobs, somewhere in the recesses of my mind I was thinking that in light of recent events things were now going to come to a grinding halt.  I thought he was going to stop everything just to be safe, and I didn’t really want that to happen.  I didn’t want to be crying, it just happened in a moment of fear and frustration.  I was mad at myself for being so emotional.  I was disappointed because we needed this reconnection time badly.  Brad held me and rubbed my back and said “your ok”.   In the past, I would have been angry and pushed him away, refused to talk.  I would have been personally offended and believed that he did it on purpose.  I thought of these things in a matter of seconds, and just as quickly I made a conscious choice to turn towards him instead of away.  To accept comfort and put myself in his care.  We were laying in bed face to face and as my crying started to ease up, he surprised me again.  He moved over a little and pulled me over so I was laying on my stomach.  I knew where this was going… I thought “really? this is how he’s going to handle this? I’m upset and he’s going to spank me?”  I was a bit shocked but as I said, I’d decided to let him handle it so I just went with it.  I knew that even if I didn’t feel like being spanked I could accept it.  After about 20 seconds it all started to make sense… I don’t know if it was his intention, but surely he’s observed after all these times what happens when he spanks me.  All those times where he would go back and forth, spanking, then massage, over and over, had conditioned my response to be spanking=relaxation.  Uncomfortable stuff he does to me + spanking=relaxation.  We’ve repeated these patterns many times and apparently it has payed off.  I could feel my muscles relaxing, my body melting into the bed.  I could feel my mind calming, no longer preparing for questions of what to do now.  It was a relief to have the situation go so well.   We were able to move on and continue from there.  

I’m proud of him for handling it so well, and if it wasn’t done intentionally, then his instincts were good.  I’m proud of me for chosing to turn towards him instead of away.  If either of us had done any differently the end result would not have been the same.  One small step forward…   😉