life goes on

Feels like it’s been forever since I posted last.  Life has been a little crazy since we’ve been back from our trip.  Brad’s initial recovery is wrapping up but they tell us the disc won’t start to heal and shrink until 6-8 weeks post surgery.  As soon as we got home, the very day, I had to take one of our kids to the dr for an ear infection, a few days after that I took the other kid for the same thing.  Last Friday I found out I had a blot clot in my chest, then Sat one of the kids came down with strep and had to go to the dr on the same day of the other child’s dance recital.  It’s been insane.  Today my arm is finally starting to return to normal size (it got very swollen).  I’ve been giving myself injections in my stomach twice a day (not fun btw) and I have two more days to go.   It can be a blessing and a curse having so many people in my life in the medical field.  Everyone has their own opinion and of course none of them line up with my dr’s.  I am unhappy with my dr right now, his patient relations are severely lacking.  It’s a long story, and I won’t go through it all, but for a while I was thinking it was possible that my antidepressants caused the problem, I thought I was going to have to get off of them and even though I would love to, I was seriously stressed about it.  Apparently Brad was too, he’s all but begged me not to stop taking it.  Now I have had a nurse pract. and a dr (friend) tell me that it could be from muscle trauma to my arm earlier in the week.  That had been my first thought anyway…. My primary dr totally dismissed this, waved me off.   It’s been irritating bouncing back and forth between medical professionals with varying levels of concern and has had me in a whirlwind wondering what the heck is going on.  It’s been a hard week but I am finally getting my feet under me again and may be able to come out of hiding.  I’ve kept to myself mostly at home, silently freaking out.  I thought for several days about what it might be like for my kids should I suddenly not be here, I thought I could possibly die.  It wasn’t likely,  but possible, and it was very scary.  It seems backward but I wonder if God put this in my life to pull me out of the fog I’ve been in.  It’s given me something else to focus on and a will to tackle it, find a cause and a solution.  It takes a lot of will power to give myself a shot, if I can get through that, I’m tougher than I gave myself credit for.  In the meantime, I am on blood thinners, I’m advised not to even bump my head, I’m thinking that spanking is probably not the safest right now.  I’d hate for any reason to have to explain that kind of bruising.  I’m missing it already!


7 thoughts on “life goes on

  1. Mick says:

    Ally, so sorry to read about this–I’m sure it has been scary. These moments can really get our attention. I hope your recovery is quick.

  2. Sara says:

    Ally, I am sorry things have been so hard. Yes, adversity can make us reassess where we are and where we want to be. I will be thinking of you!

  3. Elysia says:

    I am very impressed how well you are handling everything that is going on in your life right now. Life comes at us fast sometimes, doesn’t it? I think that even without friends and family in the medical field, we all want to have control of our own medical care. Your doctors are the only ones with all of the information to make the best assessment, so try to put your trust there if you can. (I hate a poor bedside manner too though)I hope that the kids stay well, and that you and Brad both recover quickly!
    Warm wishes!

  4. lovedandled says:

    Ally –

    I am so, so, sorry that you haven’t been feeling well and about everything that is going on with you right now. I would be terrified in your position, and I too, admire the courage and tenacity with which you are facing and approaching the situation. I am sure you will be just fine, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t scary!
    I do (kind of) know how you feel. I have a few more minor and less serious medical issues, and I’ve been living in constant pain with my back for a long, long time now – and like you, every Dr., Surgeon, or other “professional” I see has a different opinion and diagnosis, and a different suggestion for treatment. It is absolutely maddening and has reduced me to tears more than once. Please hang in there and continue being strong..
    I also live with severe anxiety issues and a ever-present fear that there are things wrong with me that no one knows and that any day now I will simply drop dead and leave my family wondering what happened…part of me knows that this is an irrational fear and not very likely to happen; but I cannot convince the other part of me that it definitely will NOT happen, and that I am safe and secure. This is a terrible thought to have running through one’s head….and I really hope that you make it through this and feel better soon.


  5. KayLynn says:

    Ally I am glad you are starting back toward recovery. I wish I could’ve been more supportive. Being alone is awful, but when you’re scared it is worse. But it is a way to be forced into realizing you are stronger than you think. I’d prefer that message of “You have Strength” be delivered with a dozen roses & a card written in calligraphy…. Take good care of yourself.

  6. Ronniesoul says:

    I’m sorry Ally things have been so hard for you. Take care of yourself.


  7. Ally says:

    Thank you everybody for your comments, I am feeling better every day 🙂

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