did you hear me?

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” – Robert McCloskey

I wonder if I could fit this quote on my forehead?  🙂


annoying…and some other stuff

I’ve got this post that is annoying me.  I’ve rewritten it about 4 times, then I let it sit, because I am not sure that I like it.  And by the time I get back to it my feelings have changed and I have edit or write it all over.  Ugh, does anyone else have this problem?

Tomorrow I will be home!  Yay!  I miss my kids and my kitchen.  I won’t complain about eating out for a week but I will have to go on a super healthy diet when I get home.  I  need to get my butt back in the gym too.  

My spanko identity is still experiencing blurriness.  I’m not sure where I have been shifted.  Still no DD, but definitely D/s elements alive within our relationship.  Spanking has become an integral part of our sex lives.  I think there have MAYBE been 3-4 times in the past year when we had sex and it didn’t include at least a little spanking.  Not complaining about that at all, but it doesn’t always have the same effect on me.  It’s changed in that spanking used to be a major turn on itself.  Now it has become this separate event, linked, but not always connected to sex, and not always arousing.  Less so now than ever before.  Still, I want it there just the same.  It’s (at least for me) now like a relationship exercise where something happens between us.  For him, I think it’s usually about sex.  At the moment, the past few months, I’m not exactly sure what it means.  It’s been very clear to me in the past what it has meant, it’s just unidentifiable right now.  Weird, right?  My mind and body are not always connected they way they should be and that has something to do with it.  I really have got to work on being present in the moment. 

good news

Brad’s surgery went well as expected.  We are very happy with our experience here and we are looking forward to going home in a few days.   🙂  More later….

after the rain

Something weird was going on with wordpress last night.  I wrote a post about my daughter and I and when I went to press save it was gone all of sudden.  I was so mad and disappointed!  I started to try to rewrite it but it just wasn’t the same.  I will try again…

I was feeling pretty good yesterday evening.  More serene than I have felt in a long while.   It had rained all day and the skies had finally cleared up.  My daughter and I were home alone and she had gone out to swing after dinner.  I finished up cleaning the kitchen and headed out in the backyard to join her.  The air was a little heavy but the light was beautiful.  Everything seemed to be glowing, the birds were singing all over, and the neighborhood was very quiet and peaceful.  I sat down on the swing next to her and she said “Mommy, I love that you teached me how to swing”.  I smiled to myself,  she is so cute and sweet.  Then I told her “I love that you can swing by yourself too, now instead of pushing you I can swing next to you, we can swing together”.  And then it hit me.  She won’t be four forever, she will grow up.  Soon the amount of things that she can do for herself will outweight the things that she depends on me for,  it was bittersweet.  I love the way she is now, but I also look forward to all the things we can do together through the years.   I do hope though, that we continue to argue about who loves who more.  It’s an ongoing debate she has started   🙂

On a completely different topic, I’m slowly starting to get my spanking interest back.  I’m relieved and happily just a little sore.  Spanking and sex are making a come back in my house!  I don’t know if I’ll have any fun or interesting stories to tell anytime soon but one can only hope!

Just for fun…

I stole this from Problogger Blog Tips –

How would you live your life differently if you had one month to live?

It’s a question I was asked recently and while it’s one we’ve all heard before I think it’s something well worth pondering at different times. I also like to apply it to different areas of my life – like blogging….

If you had only one month left before you had to stop doing it or making money from it – how would that impact your blogging?

  • how would it impact the topics that you wrote about?

  • how would it impact the calls to action you gave your readers?

  • how would it impact the passion and focus that it brought to your blogging?


How would you approach your last month of blogging?

Happy Mother’s Day and more…

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there.  This has been a sort of Mother’s Day weekend for me.  My kids enjoy making things for others and so I’ve gotten cards and coupons, Brad helped the kids make a picture frame, lotion and body spray (Bath and Body Works new summer vanillas collection Coconut is my new fave!), and donuts.  Every time something came home for me…. my daughter says – “here’s your mother’s day donut mommy!”.   She is so cute. 

I am really looking forward to leaving this week for Brad’s surgery, he is too.  It’s a week long process and surgery won’t even happen until the  18th.  We have the weekend to ourselves and Saturday is our 11th anniversary.  Sometimes it seems like a long time and sometimes it seems to have flown by so fast.    I love that we got married in spring, a time when I seem to feel my best.  New life and green is popping up all around us.  Trees are flowering, bulbs are coming up, the sun warms the air, and many times we are treated to a nest of baby bunnies in our yard.    We have to be very careful when mowing the lawn because they are hidden so well.  

Love is the poetry of the senses.  ~Honoré de Balzac

All through the long winter, I dream of my garden. On the first day of spring, I dig my fingers deep into the soft earth. I can feel its energy, and my spirits soar. ~

Helen Hayes