There isn’t something wrong with dd, there is something wrong with the people practicing it. I mean us, and more specifically I mean me. I’m not going to speak for Brad, just me. While it is a great tool to facilitate harmony in a relationship it can be used badly too. Sticking with my own problems, the negative tape about myself running in my head, I really just let inappropriatly expressed feelings become repressed feelings. Not only that but old stuff comes up, or rather reveals it’s self for what it is and I can’t shove it back down any longer. It’s started to hurt too much, became too much to bear. Things have come to a head. In reference to a great post by Mouse, it’s time for me yet again to get rid of some of the baggage. Brad and I have put dd on hold for the time being in order to nurse the communication in our relationship back to health. Also to allow me to seperate myself emotionally from him so I can become a whole person on my own. It just wasn’t going to work with the way things were, it was too easy for me to be quiet. I let submission become for me a denial of my worth. That is not what it really is… Deep inside a part of me knows that it’s ok to be just me, I just have to believe it and take care of myself. So anyway, that is what is going on with me. It’s a rough road and one that I am particularly weary of, it seems never ending. The alternative is worse, so I’ll keep going. The good thing is that the absence of dd doesn’t mean the absence of spanking 😉 or that I will stop blogging. It’s all just part of the story. I am hoping it leads to somewhere great.