Every once in a while I get asked “how did you and Brad get into TTWD?”. It’s kind of a long story so just typed it out for when ever I would need it. I’ve also been saving it for a dry spell, like now, so it’s being released today.
Somewhere around March or April of this year (2009) Brad and I started to play around with spanking in the sexual realm. I’d always been kind of turned on by the thought but NEVER told anyone. It was just to embarrassing at the time, I didn’t know that there were so many others like me. What finally made me feel comfortable enough to say something was I was seeing lots of references to spanking in mainstream magazines I was reading. I started to think this might be an acceptable kink. Now I should say first in the past year or so (while our sex life was really ramping up) Brad every once in a while would give me a good smack on the butt and we would giggle about it, but I never said “please do that again, that’s hot”. That is until one day last spring, when I did say that. So then it was happening a little more frequently. I can’t remember all the details as to why I looked on the internet about spanking but I found a few articles about adult spanking and how to’s and stuff. I printed them off and with my stomach in knots gave them to Brad that night. He was game for it but we both felt a little weird, ok a lot weird, but we decided we were going to try it OTK style as the article described. I have to say b/c of the vulnerability I felt, the apprehension Brad felt, and the amount of sexual tension in the room it was an intense experience. It was great, but we were still feeling this whole thing out. Asking ourselves and each other, is this normal, is this ok? We continued to experiment the same way, but I wanted more. I hit the internet again and this time came across My Bottom Smarts first. I was hooked and absorbed everything like a sponge, passing it all onto Brad, before I even touched another link. With all the tutorials and brunches that were so helpful, we learned a lot. It was our spring board to this lifestyle. Though we saw the mention of DD on her site, we had never heard of anything like that and dismissed it. We were not going to go there, it was just too strange.
I started to look at other blogs and would read many of them start to finish. Eventually I was reading blogs of DD couples. I thought it was very interesting, and I was beginning to understand the appeal, but I never thought it would be part of my own marriage. Brad and I had talked about it a little bit and he was in disbelief that women would want that type of arrangement. Since he felt that way, it never occurred to me to discuss it in relation to us. What I didn’t know for a while was that Brad was going through the history and watching what I was reading. One day he was teasing me and said “I know your interested in it, you’re doing all this reading”. I just said “whatever” and thought nothing of it.
Weeks later I ran into Sara’s blog and I just was amazed at how DD had impacted their relationship. The more I read the more I became convinced that DD could do much for our relationship. The areas we lack in, communication, trust, spending time focusing on each other, I felt we would be forced to deal with them under a DD relationship. That is if we wanted to be successful. It was my desire to improve our relationship and to be closer, more connected. I kept my thoughts to myself though, I was just waiting… I’m not sure what I was waiting for, but I didn’t have to wait long…
All the details are unimportant so I’ll spare you, but during the week Brad had asked me to clean up the basement, there were some things that needed to taken upstairs and so on. I never did get it, I’m not sure why, it just wasn’t on my list of high priorities. I do know that it was not something I purposely ignored. Stuff around the house has always been a source of contention between us, this was nothing new. By the end of the weekend Brad was angry about the basement and let me know. It turned into a fight and then we were not talking. I don’t remember what my excuse was, but I am sure I had one. (The real reason was I was spending lots of time on the computer instead.) So we were both mad all day and while he was at work I sent him an email as to how I felt and it was not very nice.
The response I got was completely unexpected. It said some thing like – You were wrong and you know it. I’ve had enough and you’re going to be spanked tonight. – My response was – uh, I don’t think so, I thought you said dd was dumb. What’s going on? – He said well, I think we are going to give it a try. And I said more but I don’t remember it all. Anyway, that night I was spanked. And let me tell you, (sorry Brad) it was the lamest spanking I have ever received! I don’t think I even said oww once. It cracks me up just thinking about it. At that point, it was probably a good thing since we really did not have an agreement or basic understanding about how all this was going to go. Probably not your traditional start… We did talk about it the next day, and agreed on a few basic things. At that point, short of another fight like we just had, I couldn’t imagine getting spanked for anything again. I just thought it would never happen. It turned out fairly quickly that I was wrong. I’m not in real trouble very often, but it’s happened more than once since then. It’s been such a strange variety of experiences. It’s slowly becoming a natural part of our lives, but still requires a lot of work. I suppose it always will.
I wrote this way back when, what feels like years ago, but it was more like the end of last summer. It’s funny how much things change in a short amount of time, and how some things never change. We almost never have those silly kinds of fights anymore which is great. It clears the air to be able to see the more subtle and deeply buried issues between us. It’s good and bad and most certainly not easy, nor pain free. There have been times that I’ve never been more in love and times that I thought I’d break into a million little pieces. All in all, I’m glad we are still traveling down this path.