It’s officially over, the relative ease with which I was coasting through life the past 2-3 weeks. I’m not sure what happened except what goes up must come down. Starting Monday after a nice weekend a cloud settled over me and I can’t seem to shake it. It started with some minor stress that morning and an email from my Grandpa, the one who just lost his wife. He is so lonely and sad and so far way from us. I feel guilty that I cannot be there for him, but it’s just not possible. I feel pretty helpless and crappy about that situation.
Everyday I feel like I could burst into tears at the drop of hat, and I have several times. It feels ridiculous to be making cookies and crying. I’m trying to stay positive, my immediate family is happy and healthy and we are so blessed in many ways. It’s everyone else around me who is falling apart, mostly physical problems or health issues. I’m working over time to deal with those things and help with what they need. Doing nice things for others should be energizing, not exhausting. I’m sleeping well, but I am still so tired.
Alright, the pity party is over, I just had to get that off my chest.