When it comes to spanking there is not much more that I despise than asking for one. It’s not that I don’t want it, nor am I looking for punishment type spanking, I just want it to be initiated by Brad. I want it to be his idea and I want him to want to spank, for whatever reason. You may be wondering… Why Ally? Why does it matter so much to you? I’ll get to it…….
These are the some of the ways I will try to “ask” for a spanking (without actually asking) –
“I think I could use some attention…” (big smile)
“Do you want to do anything (to me) tonight? “(wink, wink)
Sometimes I will just give him a long unyielding stare in bed, at which point he usually asks graciously “Is there something I can do for you?” (he knows exactly what I’m doing)
I am rarely direct about it- to say “please may I have a spanking?” seems too… awkward. Besides, the first two times I said directly to him “I need a spanking”, I was admonished for being demanding. It partly depends on my motives as to how much I hate asking for one. If it’s for foreplay and sexual reasons, that is when I least mind. When it’s for “just because I want one” spankings (or any other reason), asking almost ruins it for me. Maybe b/c it introduces the element of choice, obviously if I am asking for it, I am chosing for a spanking to happen. Whether it happens or not still depends on Brad, but I have had to make the first move, and I don’t like it. It’s kind of like kissing. I don’t want to ask for kisses all the time, I want them to come freely, because he loves me and is internally driven to kiss me. I know it’s not exactly the same, but this pattern of thinking seems to be a woman thing. How many times have we heard a woman (yourself, a friend, in a movie or tv show) say “I don’t want to tell him _________ , I just want him to know.” And I’d say we want them to intuitively know b/c it makes us feel like our guys are tuned into us and that makes us feel loved. It reminds me of the movie The Breakup, Aniston’s character says something like, “I don’t want you to do the dishes, I want you to want to do the dishes.” Replace “to do the dishes” with “spank” and I think that is how many women feel about it. Gentlemen, I’ve seen more than once some of you say you’d like for us to just tell you what we want. I didn’t say it was fair, but there must be a way to reconcile the opposing needs so that everyone is happy. Any ideas?
* I wrote the above a few weeks ago. There was actually more to this but I felt like it no longer applied. I still hate to ask, I don’t think that will change any time soon but something very nice has taken its place. I’ve not been so spanking crazy for a while now, I have settled down a lot and I’m comfortable where we are. So, I have stopped asking, at least lately, I’ve almost become ambivalent about it. I said almost. What has happened as a result is that now when Brad is in the mood it is a nice surprise for me. Even when I don’t really feel like it and have to anyway, I still appreciate that it’s happening on his insistence (because he wants too) ….and often that is enough to get me in the mood. I love that he’s stretching and strengthening those dominance muscles. I love that I don’t have to ask for it. I love that I’m not having to constantly focus on moving the relationship forward. It is just sort of slowing floating along right now. Slowly, but comfortably.