I was interested the other day when I read Meow’s post about how the thrill of spanking had gone, but was now coming back for her. I’ve been thinking about my own reaction to spanking these days, and how it has changed in the past couple months. I am not concerned really, I recognize it as part of the cycle that most feelings are subject to.
Spanking started as only an enhancement to our sexual adventures. It blew our previous sex out of the water, and it had already been good. My voracious appetite for spanking and sex has lasted quite a while. My sex drive has slowed down some recently, but I still desire the spanking, just for different reasons. I’m inclined to agree with Meow that incorporating DD into our relationship has added new levels of complication to the act and emotions of spanking in general. Five or so months ago we started incorporating DD into our lives and along with that came a whole other world to learn about. Also, with DD came many new additions to our list of reasons for spanking, dynamics surrounding those different reasons, and the whys. Along with DD comes punishment spankings, the prospect of maintenance spanking, submission/just because/reconnection spankings, and whatever else you can think of. There is so much more going on, so many processes going on at once at any given time, and the focus is not sexual for me. It has definitely been a distraction from the sexual realm. There are times when it is just about sex, but the times that are not complicate the motions we go through.
Lately for me, the spanking, no matter what kind, has been about the spanking and what am I getting out of it, what is happening, and it has been anything but sexual. It’s not turning me on the way it used to. This is further complicated by the fact that spanking is all about sex for Brad, even when it’s not for me. It’s like two trains heading down two separate tracks that merge into one. Crash! We slam into each other and it’s a disaster. There are lots of times too where we narrowly miss each other, crash is avoided but leaves me feeling unsettled. (I don’t mean to give the impression that this is happening all the time. It just happens to be a small piece of what we are going through right now.) Anyway, I think that we are going the right direction at this point together. A night that was supposed to be fun turned into anything but…but at leasst I was finally able to see what was bothering me and let him know.