I am trying to think about something meaningful to post about… but I can’t ignore what is in front of my face. I’ve been waiting to share that my grandma died a week ago. This week has been a roller coaster of emotions. I’ve felt many things, tried to allow myself to go through them fully so that I can work through it all in a way that won’t leave me stuck. There is enough of that already. I have a strong awareness of how past hurts can wreak havoc in one’s life years down the road (things that have nothing to do with her.) This is one I don’t want to do wrong. I can’t bury it in the back, distract myself, or tune out my emotions. I’m an adult now, and I can handle it. Right?
After this week of wading in and out of anger, sadness, guilt, pity, sympathy, and fear I’ve come out on the other side whole and intact. My faith, my husband, my friends have been my rock on which I’ve been leaning. I’m very thankful for all the support I’ve received. I still feel a bit scrambled, in unfamiliar territory, but more relaxed. I’m sure I am not free from struggle but I have confidence that I can move on and I will be fine. The earth will keep spinning.