It’s not pretty…

I turned down another spanking last night.  I am starting to think that the more I do not feel like one, the more I need it.  I am afraid that it will do no good.  I’m afraid of a lot of things right now.  I probably am in great need of what Sara calls an insanity spanking.  I’m trying to hold onto my sanity right now.  I’ve dealt with depression for a long time.  Since I started a med. about a year and a half ago I have been feeling great, normal.  I’ve been playing around with my antidepr. lately, higher, lower,  now I am dealing with feeling worse.  Don’t eat for three days, then I’m starving, can’t sleep much for three days, then I am exhausted.  It takes its toll… I am trying to get back on track with what was working before.  Normal again, that’s what I need. 

On top of all this one of my grandparents is in the hospital dying.   My husband is trying to get off pain meds and is very grumpy.  My seven year old has a major attitude problem.  Every little thing feels so big.  I have to keep reminding myself that it won’t always be like this.  It’s easy to lose perspective.  I have lost perspective (deep breath) I’ll be back…


4 thoughts on “It’s not pretty…

  1. Meow says:

    What a lot of stress you’re under right now! Be easy on yourself. If the meds worked, I’d stick with them. Normal is soooo great when you’re going through an “insane” spell! Good Luck! Meow

  2. Amy says:

    Hang in there! I went through a similar time a few months ago and truly had to take it one task, one day at a time!

  3. Ronnie says:

    You certainly sound like you have a lot on your plate at the moment no wonder your stressed. As Meow says if the meds were working before I would go back to them.

    Take a deep breath and take one day at a time.


  4. Ally says:

    Thanks everybody for your kind comments. I actually never stopped meds, just went back to the normal dose. Thankfully, today I feel much more “normal”.

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