Last night was pretty uneventful, but this morning was not… Brad went to work late, just so he could spank me when the kids were gone. I didn’t know this was going to happen until right before I was leaving to take my son to school, he says -I have a conference call at 8:30am then at 9 I want to talk to you before I go in to work. It’s amazing how just one sentence can make you sick to your stomach. “oh, your staying home?” yay….
When I got back home I went upstairs to take a shower. I noticed in our room he already had a bunch of implements laid out and I was getting more nervous. The belt, wood spoon, wood turner, and a paddle. After I got dressed, I was just starting to dry my hair and he comes into the bathroom and tells me I’d better get into the bedroom, and no, I cannot finish drying my hair. Does he really have to use such a harsh tone? It’s a little scary. So I went into the bedroom to wait. I already had a feeling this spanking was going to be different. This was the first time I have been spanked over something that is so emotionally heavy to me. I felt bad for my behavior the night before (and there was more but I’m not going to go into it) but I felt justified in my feelings, it left me in a weird place. I know I deserved the spanking, but I also had issues with him. Anyway, I was not about to try and discuss anything now. He told me to bend over the bed and he left the room for a minute. I don’t know why he does that, but I hate it. When he came back he picked up the belt, even though I still had my pants on it hurt, but not too bad. After a few minutes he switched to the paddle, I was still ok. I was able to control myself and stay in position, which was all on me since he was standing behind me. Then he pulled my pants off, and I don’t know if he’s been reading my posts about talking, but he started asking me questions. Like “do you know what you did wrong?” whack! At this point my mind kind of went blank, and then went it’s own way. He was paddling away and I could not think! He kept asking me and every time I didn’t answer he would whack harder. I just kept thinking, what does he want me to say, there are several things I could say. I couldn’t keep my thoughts together and say it quick enough before the next whack on my bottom would take my breath away. Finally I just blurted out “I don’t know what you want me to say!” My panties came down and he grabbed the wooden spoon, the implement that I hate the most. He says, Firstly, do not ever ever threaten me… I don’t even remember if he said anything else. Between the belt, spoon and the paddle and all my emotions, I was crying, really hard. And that’s a first for me, but it felt good. Here is what was unanticipated. Normally, for any kind of spanking, I have a very difficult time staying in place as things get more and more intense. I really try, but it’s hard to control myself. My mind is working in overdrive, bracing myself for the pain, focusing on trying to stay still. This time, I did not move, and very very strangely, I did not even have the urge to move, it was almost like the lower half of my body was very relaxed (I said almost). The upper half of me was clutching onto a pillow and sobbing hard. I think being able to release the energy/tension through crying instead of focusing on pain enabled me to just be there in the moment. To be more fully aware of what was happening, to be open to the experience. It was a punishment spanking, but it was the most satisfying spanking I have had in a long time, and I am thankful for it.