Last night was so strange. Laughable almost. I think it was probably the first time a spankings gone bad. We were just supposed to be having fun in the bedroom and I just couldn’t get into it, not for lack of trying. I was going with the flow but I was also a little unsettled. Throughout the evening there were 1,2,3,4 things that I was told about with a strong degree of disapproval of how I was handling things. I’m not saying he was wrong, it just left me feeling yucky. Problem 1 is a dilemma b/c I do try in this area and it’s a major struggle 24/7 and it exhausts me. Problem 2 just irritated me, 3 and 4 are related and those were little things I missed b/c I have so much going on. Brad wasn’t really mad, but I still felt deflated. Try working up a sexual response that way. So anyway, after about 10 minutes of us trying this and that, he flips me over and says “I can see this is going to be kind of clumsy” I couldn’t help giggling. We were not accomplishing anything poetic at the moment. But don’t think we let that stop us. Oh no…. I told him why I was having a hard time getting in the mood, we discussed, I felt a tiny bit better and we moved on. It never did get much better last night but that’s OK. It was kind of funny and it makes you appreciate when it’s good.