family stuff

This weekend was pretty great.  Brad and I managed to work in some spanking on Sat night.  I was really needing it too.  After a while of not much at all going on between us (due to the daily grind) I start thinking like this “…what’s so great about submission…I don’t feel like being submissive…I want to do what I want to do…”  anyway, we took care of that.

My parents had us all over on Sun for BBQ, inlaws and all (we all live close, so we pretty much do everything all together).  I always knew that my mom was bossy, condescending, and just downright rude to my dad, but lately I’ve been paying alot more attention.  (Brad and I always joke that she could use a good spanking).  What bothers me the most is that she does it right in front of everybody, then she’ll give someone a look like “oh he’s such an idiot”.  My inlaws talk about it to me when it’s just us, they can’t believe she’s like that.  It’s kind of embarrassing.  She will even tell my adult and married brother things like “I think you’ve had enough chips” or “have you been paying that ____ bill”.  I hate this, she has tried to do stuff to me like this before, but we’ve had a few confrontations over the past few years and she doesn’t try that on me much anymore.  It’s not all her fault that she is like this, my Grandmother is the same way x 10.  I eventually confronted my Grandma about the way she was treating me and she hates me now.  She’s dying and she doesn’t want to talk to me…  I’m ok with that because I gave her every opportunity to restore the relationship and she would not.  She won’t admit she is wrong ever.  Both my mom and my Grandpa have said that never in their lives has she ever apologized to them for anything.  It’s very sad.  Anyway, I did my part and there is nothing else I can do, so I have a peace about it.  It’s really shown me how someone that is so controlling (to an unwilling participant at least), they destroy all the relationships around them.  You don’t want to be around them, they make you feel bad about yourself, they are not much fun.  I knew even as a teenager that I did not want to be like my mom.  I even used to say that I did not want to have kids, because I was afraid they would feel the same way about me that I did about my mom at the time.  I know that I am not much like her, but I had to do some work to find a different way.  I still have to be on guard sometimes, but I am happy for the most part with the person I am.   

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