VACCUUM CORD DRAMA AND MUCH MUCH MORE

It all started Friday afternoon, I walk into my family room and see that my dog has chewed up the vaccuum cord.  Ordinarily, this is not a huge deal, a minor annoyance, we fix it and move on with our lives.  HOWEVER, in our house, Brad hates to not have things put away.  In fact we just had a disscussion about putting things away so they don’t get messed up or somebody gets hurt…see where this is going?  I like to leave stuff out if I know I am going to use it again in the next day or so.  I was going to finish vaccuuming later, so I didn’t wrap the cord up, I personally think that would be a waste of time (it takes a whole minute or so.)  So apparently my dog didn’t get the memo about how chewing up cords would get me in trouble.  I knew as soon as I saw what happened I was in for it.   When Brad got home I told him the dog chewed up the cord

he says – was it laying out on the ground

me – (crap) yeah

Brad – didn’t we just talk about that, I knew something like this would happen (…more words that I don’t remember…) you know your going to get a spanking for this  (now he’s grinning at me, I swear he’s enjoying this)

me – yeah, I had a feeling

So our night goes on, I make dinner, we go to my son’s ball game, the kids go to sleepovers, and we are alone driving home, he asks me if I want to be spanked now, or tomorow.   No way do I want to be thinking about this all night so I said let’s do it now.  (After going home and showering we were planning on going out for the night.)  So we get home and go back to the bedroom, I can see that Brad has the wooden spatula.  The extent of our conversation at this point is – ok, let’s get this over with (my sentiments exactly).  Brad bends me over the bed (his position of choice, thankfully he did not take my shorts off, that’s rare) and he sits next to me and wraps his arm around my waist.  I don’t ever try to get away from him, but sometimes it becomes overwhelming and I stand up (I can’t help it, I swear).  He starts spanking me hard and fast, I can always take it for about a  minute, and I did, but it starts to become overwhelming, my butt felt like it was on fire and it was sending a message to my brain – something along the lines of “what the heck are you doing, get out of here!”.  I stood up and told him it hurt too much, I can’t stay still.  He firmly told me to lay back down with an “or else” tone in his voice… I did and he tightened his grip on me.  He spanked a bit more, until I was about to lose it (he’s very good at knowing when that point is reached.  I have not ever started crying due to spanking but he must be taking cues from my whimpering owws and wiggling around).  He got up and walked to our dresser, put his implement down, and I stayed right there on the bed not really knowing what was going to happen next.  He  came back over, gave me a couple a swats with his hand and pulled me up off the bed.  I stood up and looked at him, he took my face in his hands and asked gruffly “do you need more?”.  I said I did not and then he kissed me… I believe at this point the punishment portion of the evening concluded and we went on to more romantic activities, which ironicly included some very hard hand spanking (that I really enjoyed . )  

 

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY HUSBAND?

After that we got ready to go out.  Since the kids were gone we jumped in the shower together.  That was fun, we actually had a good conversation there. 

Brad – You know I’ve never been one of those guys who was really into butts.  I mean you’ve always had a nice butt (thanks honey!) but I wasn’t wanting to touch it all the time.  Now I love spanking your butt, I love the feel of it, rubbing it… (there was more but I don’t remember all of it, and you get the picture.)

I’m thinking, ok, who is this man?  Up until now, spanking has kind of been my thing, and I felt like he was mostly just playing along.  Not that he didn’t enjoy it, but when your into it, your reallllly into it.  So my husband seems to have turned kinky on me, and I couldn’t be happier.  But there’s more….

Brad- Hey Ally, since we are going out tonight,  wear a skirt…oh and don’t wear any panties. 

Ally – (!?!?!)  really? why? (duh)  I don’t want to go to your friends apt without underwear on and in a skirt

Brad – well just bring some and you can put them on before we go in

Ally – I can do that

Again, I’m thinking, who is this person?  Asking me to wear a skirt isn’t a big deal, I don’t mind wearing them, but I am much more of a jeans and a cute top kind of girl.  This was so weird, but amusing, and being the lovely sumissive wife that I am I followed directions.  We were going to go to some friends of his that had just moved into a new apartment and they were having kind of an open house thing.  I don’t know why I did this, but I grabbed a black thong to put on on our way out.  I might as well have not had anything on.   Whatever, I felt better knowing there was something there and I thought Brad would like it too. 

After that we decided to go downtown to a restaurant that we love.  It was pretty late but we got to sit out on the patio, listen to a cool band, and have some amazing food.  It was really really nice to just be together without the kids.   All night Brad kept saying stuff like “hey there’s a dark alley,  I could bend you over and spank you in there.” (umm no thanks) and “I’d like to take you to the top of ‘insert name’ building and spank you.” 

We went home and concluded our evening with more fun and spanking and then passed out for the night.

The next morning we got up and he decides one of the things he’s going to do that day is fix the vaccuum.  Then he proceeds to tell me how avoidable this was, if I had just wrapped up the cord, this is a pain in the ass…”I think you need another spanking”  I was pretty sure he was joking, but it was kind of hard to read.  I told him that’s not fair and nothing more came of it.  It was slighly unsettling b/c now I feel like he’s still mad at me about it.  We ended up going to three stores trying to find a part we need and by the last one he’s glaring at me and saying “you see what a pain in the butt this is”.  I told him I was sorry and he could stop yelling at me about it.  Now I was starting to get upset, and thinking about things in my head.  Isn’t one of the benefits of a dd relationship NOT having long drawn out drama and strife between the two people.  Did I not experience the consequences for this last night?  Why do I now have to deal with this stuff coming at me now?  I get that he would have rather been doing other things, but I couldn’t undo what happened.  So, the day went on and I felt like there was this big wall between us.  Later on, he said that he was sorry for the rude comment, I told him it was fine.  I was still debating on did I want to talk about how I felt or not.  Finally at bed time we are laying there watching tv and I was so uncomfortable.  I got up and went to lay on the couch to try to fall asleep, but I could not relax.  I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep until I got the words out and communicated somehow tonight.  I went and wrote him a short note about how I felt, I gave it to him when I realized he was still awake in our room.  He agreed that he was being unfair and we worked it all out.  Slowly, I am getting more and more comfortable sharing what I am feeling with him.  I can’t say this is easy, but it’s been getting easier each time. 

All in all, it was a very interesting weekend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

just my opinion

A while ago my kids got these kids bops cds in their kids meals from a fast food rest.  They want to listen to them, but some of the songs really bother me.  Is it just me, or is the sound of children singing adult content songs a little disturbing…?

 

LOVE & RESPECT

When dealing with issues I have with Brad, I tend to be somewhat dramatic.  Someone gave me some good advice about looking at problems we have:  Address the problem separately from the person.  Instead of what HE is doing is the problem, or I am the problem, it’s communication, or a time issue that is the problem.  See how nicely that works?  (I don’t know if I am being very clear, bear with me). This is very difficult for me as I like to have someone to blame.  For years I told Brad, “I am so unhappy, you don’t give me any attention, I don’t think you can love me the way I need to be loved, I don’t trust you with my feelings, all you do is hurt me”.  Yes, I was that sweet.  As you can imagine, this did not inspire the love I desired and probably made things worse.  It makes me sad thinking about how that must have made him feel, he didn’t deserve that.  To his credit, he seemed to try to improve, but we did not understand each other and didn’t know how to meet each other’s needs, so that we did feel loved/respected.  We were floundering around in the dark.  Demanding love and demanding sex, a lot of selfishness being thrown around.  We were both very frustrated.  We dealt with a few issues with someone, read a book.  It helped some…  We also read a book called Love and Respect, it was very good.  It really harps in the beginning on how you can’t wait for the other person to give you what you want, before you give them what they want, someone has to break the cycle.  Then it talks about how men need respect and women need love, and here’s how to show those things.  We both took that advice, but I don’t know that I was really feeling it deep down.  It’s easy to be respectful, act respectful, but still hold some resentment down inside.  I have to be carefully aware of the resentment monster; sometimes I don’t even know it’s there, bad habit.  Anyway, this was all before we started having fun spanking, but our sex life was booming, and his attitude towards me was improving.  When I began the terrifying experience of talking about spanking with Brad, I have to say it was well received with only slight hesitation.  The first time we tried it, it was so intense and foreign.  I felt refreshed and let me just say that there is nothing like laying across your husband’s lap and being spanked to inspire a whole lot of respect…deep down.   I was kind of overwhelmed by all those feelings.  I felt emotionally out of control, very needy and vulnerable.  It took us a couple weeks to sort things out and talk about stuff and to have our feet back under us.  I will never be the same again, and that’s a good thing.

TRANSFORMATIONS

monarch at the butterfly show

One of the things I have noticed about Brad lately is that he has been more affectionate.  Holding hands, putting his arm around me, hugs and kisses at random times.  It’s really nice.  I’ve told him in the past many times that I would like him to be more affectionate towards me and it didn’t really work.  It’s clear to me that what is happening in our relationship (D/s, dd, fun spanking) is all getting me many of the things I’ve always wanted in our relationship, and I wasn’t really expecting that.  I had expectations for us to get closer, but I had long given up on other desires.  Apparently I was going about it the wrong way. 

I love Jamie Fraser

If you recognise that name, you know just who I am talking about.  There are websites devoted to this particular (fictional) man, his wife, and the life they live (next book comes out this Sept.) and with good reason.  If you are attracted to dominant men, he’s your guy.  I am talking about the book series Outlander.  I got into it last year and haven’t been able to put them down.  There are six books available now.  I am a picky reader, I don’t like to waste my time with mediocre novels, so if you like to read I would highly recommend these.  I would classify the series as romance/historical romance/time travel.  Yeah, when my mom said “time travel”, I thought “what?  I’m not really interested sci fict type stuff”.  But don’t let it turn you away… It starts with Claire, she is married to Frank and they are starting their lives together after the war by vacationing in Scotland.  Franks is a history prof and is looking at some family tree stuff when they learn some about “the stone circle” in the area.  There is something of cultish practice still observed by the women in the area and the go check it out.  Claire decides to go back on her own to look and ends of falling between the stones and sucked back in time to the mid 17oo’s.  It’s kind of funny b/c of course she doesn’t realize what has happened.  The English are attacking some Scottish highlanders and she thinks a movie is being filmed around her, like she’s stumbled onto the set.  Without giving away too much, she is captured/saved by a group of slightly barbaric highlanders and taken back to their clan.  Through a series of circumstances a very complicated love story ensues between Claire and Jamie.  There is even a spanking scene between them which I am sure you will all appreciate.  Women, if you read these books, you will fall in love with Jamie too!  He’s the epitome of male dominance while being very loving and sweet too.   You will love Claire too, she is a very strong woman, loyal and good character.  She tries so hard to get back to the stones to return to her husband, Frank, but she is not able.  You’ll have to read the rest….

LAST NIGHT

Last night did not go as planned.  Communication problems again I suppose, some hurt feelings.  It was not in vain though as I have learned a few things about myself.  I still have issues with trying to control situations, I failed to submit when I should have, just because my feelings got hurt. I didn’t trust Brad that things would be ok, if I just would follow directions.  I can’t say that I won’t make these same mistakes again, but I’m going to try and work on these things.    Trust and submission go hand in hand.  Do I trust him? yes  Is there any reason not to? no    Do I have a long family history of women be overbearing, critical, absolutely not submissive, nags? yes (Brad would laugh at this, he knows exactly who I’m talking about)  Anyway, that’s no excuse as I’ve made a conscious desision to go the other way. My marriage is a thousand times better for it.  I will have to be more aware of what I’m doing in the moments when I am upset, angry, or anything else like that.    I am happy to say that I have been promised a better night tonight and I am really looking forward to it.

FLOWERS

                                                   

I love watching my flower beds change as plants get bigger and more beautiful.  This year I’ve become obsessed with Hens and Chicks (far right).  Another new addition to the veg/frt garden is the blueberry bush (far left).  In the middle is a perennial tradescantia (Sweet Kate).  The other two are vincas.

THE THIRD WHEEL

There is a third wheel in our marriage… it really gets in the way sometimes of just about every aspect of our lives.  The third wheel is some chronic pain in Brad’s hip.  It used to be a leg issue, then lower back, and now it’s moved to his hip.  We feel like we are getting closer to figuring out what the actual problem is all the time, but this has been going on for about 5 years.  He’s been to all kinds of doctors and physical therapists, chiropractors, surgeons, you name it.  He also has a pain management doctor who gives him pain meds that allow him to live somewhat normally most of the time.  For the most part I have appreciated them, BUT…lately they have really thrown a wrench in our sex lives.  The pretty much numb up his whole body and at that point  his sex drive is about shot.  It’s been about 2 days since we’ve had sex, about a week since it’s been more than just a quickie in the AM,  and I’m about to go crazy   Ok, I know two days is not a long time, but I’ve mentioned the hormonal explosion in my body in the previous post…  We have been really busy this week, and we are tired, and we always have to wait til the kids are asleep, by then he’s just not interested.  I tried really hard to engage him last night by pushing some buttons-

we were watching tv last night in the family room and he was laying on the couch… I started to turn the lamp off

B:  can you leave that on, I want to read something

So I left it on, a  few minutes later I turned it off

A:  I want it off, it’s too bright in here (trying to supress a grin)

he raised his eyebrows, I raised mine, he raised his higher (I’m laughing now)

B: you want me come over there and crack your head open (don’t be alarmed, he’s joking)

A: yeah, come on over here and do it (I’m thinking, finanlly, yes! some interaction)

B: you want me to get the spoon?

A: (uhh, no.  Light goes back on.  I’m not playing THAT game)

That was not what I wanted, I would have loved a  fun spanking, but not with the wooden spoon!  I don’t know for sure if he really would have done it, but I wasn’t taking any chances.  But now I’m desperate, and Brad, if you read this today, I’m coming after you tonight!   Love ya!

A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

I feel so much pressure to write something good for my second post that I have writer’s block, so I am just going to do something light and simple and tell you more about me.

These are few of my favorite things (not necessarily in order):

    1  reading :  I love to read novels and books on self improvement, marriage and relationships, informational books on how to do things (mosaic tiling, scrap booking, gardening, etc.  Whatever project I’m into at the time.) 

   2.my camera, photography : I love taking pictures!  I wouldn’t call myself a professional yet, but I have done some weddings and lots of portraits.  My kids and the kids in the neighborhood could probably be considered professional models 

    3. my dog :  my dog is so special to me, he’s so loving and sweet, he follows me around the house, he’s gentle with the kids, and I’m sure he understands English, (he’s big too – 80lbs and almost one year old!)

 4. Brian Regan- he is the funniest comedian on the planet! (well, to Brad and I at least)  If you need a good laugh, check him out

 5. my amino acid supplements : (GABA, 5-HTP, and DLPA)  ok, I know that’s weird, but I joke with Brad about how I am addicted  to them.  They are my all natural solution (it’s the same stuff protein is made of) for moodiness, anxiety, mood swings… I LOVE them b/c they really work.  I’ll get off my soapbox in a minute…if you are interested in that sort of thing check out a book called The Mood Cure.  The same author wrote a book called The Diet Cure, they are really great.   

6. my two best friends -  I have two women that I spend time with regularly, our kids are the same age, and we can talk about everything, well except for spanking of course.  I don’t know if I would survive with out them, they are wonderful! 

7. Coke – I LOVE Coke, no not the drug, the drink.  Coke and coffee are probably my biggest vices, well, except for… 

8. sex and spanking : I’m sure you’ve heard about how women reach their sexual prime at 30…well, it happened for me!  The past year and a half it’s like there has been a hormone explosion in my body.  At times, it’s hard for Brad to keep up with me, not because of his sex drive of course, but because it would be physically impossible.  Discovering spanking only made things more fun and we love it.  I think it has actually kept the ball rolling at times.

Hello !

This blog is going to serves as a sort of journal for me.  I am Ally, and my husband, Brad, and I are exploring the many advantages of spanking, whether it’s for fun, or other reasons.   A few months ago I found the courage to reveal my sexual interest in spanking, that I’ve fanasized about it for as long as I can remember.  I never in a million years thought I’d ever share that with anybody.  Before I told him, I found an article on askmen.com about spanking, which actually became the way I presented my idea.  He seemed sort of interested…  it was awkward.   We tried it and it was different, and fun… The next day I found My Bottom Smarts, I felt like I hit the jackpot!  I also saw that I was so NOT alone.   From there it opened up  a whole new world for me and Brad.  We slowly, and through a series of circumstances, warmed up to the idea of trying domestic discipline.  I think it has a lot to offer and we can hopefully benefit from it.  So that is where we are.  My desire is to share our experiences in the hopes of 1.working out my thoughts and feelings 2. meeting people in the community 3. learning from others and so on.  I am going to encourage Brad to post when ever he wants too.  So, with that said, I am stepping forward, in this stage in life, in personal growth, and onto dd discoveries.